Vulvodynia (chronic pain)

A poem testimonial:

Bianca Smeekes, Where do I even begin? Not only do we share the same name but we also share such a similar story…

The way you teach so eloquently. The way you explain so precisely. The way you give such valuable insight.

The way you share your light and wisdom. The way you listen and hold such a sacred space for healing

The way you simply just understand. You just get me. I feel you want what is best for me truly in your heart.

I can feel it in mine. The way you believed in me.The way you encouraged me. The way you saw your soul reflected in mine.

The way you probably know me better than any other being on this earth. I cannot thank you enough for all that you have taught me.

For seeing me. And For hearing me. And for holding me, even without being physically held.

Your magnetic presence and light you carry within you, radiated through my screen.

I could feel your presence, your warmth, your light and your love.

You made me realize so many things. You made me realize the missing link, in my healing journey…

You were the puzzle piece I had been searching for, for so long… I finally found something that resonated with the core of me.

On day 1 of the lightning process I had a lightning bulb moment.

Ironic hey?

It felt as if I was finally breaking free from invisible shackles that have tied me down for so long.

It’s like a breath of fresh air, when you’ve sunken deep underneath the water and finally get a taste of life.

It was like a ray of eternal light. A sunbeam so bright; I couldn’t help but be captivated from start to finish.

It’s like finally getting out of quicksand, which has been sucking you down for so long.

It’s like believing again. It’s like breathing again for the first time. It’s like being reborn. I feel rebirthed.

It’s like feeling completely free like a bird flying high in the sky. It's like anything is possible in this life for me now

It’s like breaking free of the tight chains; I carried around for so long.It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

It’s like the tension finally melting away from your chest. It’s like the answer you’ve always been searching for all along.

It’s like every little thing that led you here finally makes sense. The broken pieces are coming together.

In fact I was never broken. I was always whole. I just got a little lost in my own conditioning.

I had layers and layers of multifaceted trauma to unravel. I am still unraveling… and diving deep into the darkness.

You have to be brave enough to face yourself in order to see the light. You have to get uncomfortable to be comfortable.

For that is the polarity of life. Yin and Yang. Light and Dark. Love and heartbreak. It all goes hand in hand.

You cannot have beauty without pain. You cannot feel happiness without sadness. I got stuck in the past.

I worried about the future I wasn’t living in the present. I was living for everyone else but myself.

But now I finally see…

It is time to love myself and put myself first. Do what is right for my mind, body, heart, soul and spirit.

I’m finally listening. Listening to the whispers. Tuning into what my body wants, needs and desires.

Realizing my worth. Finally believing I am enough. I am worthy. I am beautiful. I deserve pleasure.

I deserve the life I always envisioned for myself. Thank you Bianca for lighting the way. For leading me down the right path.

For granting me with your effervescent glow, light and warmth. I have finally after 6 years of discomfort in my most intimate precious space, know the reasons why.

I am finally finding my way out of the mud. Out of the trenches. And into the sun. It truly feels like a miracle.

I thought I’d never get there. But I can now say I have. I feel alive again.  I’m glad I never gave up on myself.

Don’t ever give up hope. There is always hope. There is always a rainbow after a storm.There is always light.

Bianca was my light.

My soul has needed this journey. It needed you to lead the way. From my heart to yours.

Thank you a million times over. To infinity and beyond. Thank you for guiding me. For believing in me.

You are magic. You are pure love. Your soul is pure light.